somedays i want to eat you whole
somedays i want to spit you out

you are after all, just an idea in my head
and i, am just an idea in my head.

Brightness of morning sun, clear mountain view
vines that twine around the wooden deck
thoughts of you, emotions that arise
nothing but a fog that swirls around

in the light of the day, maybe i can know myself better
and make no big deal of it

and let our friendship lay fallow for another day or two
or month or year or eternity

kissing the grasses as i walk through the summer fields
holding the apple gently in my hand before i twist it free


and eat it/you one bite at a time.

ok, i lied...
i never want to spit you out...

I guess it was a swamp
full of the muck of yesteryear
ideas and notions of proper behavior
brown and drooping soggy plants
these habitual thought patterns of mine
puritanical grim determination to fail heroically

and sure, there is no way to the happy forest,
that goes around the swamp,
eventually, trudging through the bogginess
is the work that lies between me

and the free open pastures of not me...

or...
maybe, this one step at a time manuever, wearing my
maine hunting shoes, half rubberized for the mud
is a dance in itself, not something to be avoided

jumping from one little grass hill to the next
concentrating on landing cleanly
laughing at my seriousness,
and really guffawing over flimsy futuristic fantasies...

free open pastures indeed!
What could be better than an endless swamp
on a muddy spring day!

Ah, let's play!
Let's get really muddy!
Gooey, slimy, oh so grimy!

hmmmmmmmm,
who needs the higher ground?

I have twin lighthouses.
Through their integrity and friendship i grow.
They are not teachers.
Yet i learn.
Learning relationship, learning friendship.
From one, i learn the lesson i remember my zen master sharing years ago,
"How to love without touching..."
How to be a lighthouse for someone else with no expectation of "getting" anything from them.
From the other beacon, I learn how to turn on my inner lighthouse
and shine light on the sneaky ways of ego, that keep me from being fully present.

In fact, both of my lighthouse friends help me on the way to being Present.
I'm grateful to have encountered such lighthouses in the stormy waters.

Isn't it all speculation?
Sort of like Hints from Heloise, a Martha Stewart list of
ways to show you love someone.
Mind like water, heart as open as the sky,
I am present, and in that presence respond to whoever i am relating with.
Sometimes strong words, sometimes kindness, sometimes a kiss,
sometimes washing the dishes.
Anything and everything can be an act of love.

What i want and what i don't want
musty stories from "before", and gilded dreams of future
bodies in union, minds in separate worlds
or is there a moment
when all is one.

everything i remember, is laid before my feet
hits the floor with a dusty bang

everything i wish for, creates a tension
tears me away from this
pulsing moment
that has no meaning
and the words we play with
just for fun
or do i really want to say something?
and what exactly happens
when my words enter another world
enter “your” world.
Who are you
and who am i?

Rushing streams of energy and thought
flowing between two worlds
I never know
when i speak
what you hear

and that is the delight
and the mystery

what i do when
i can't do
anything.

who am i when i forget
who i
am.

what is left when
the poem is
ended.

what is felt and not
described.

what is known
but not said.

I once thought it clever to be clever...

love is never winning
and never losing

love is the moon that
remembers who it is
again
and
again.

love
remembers
who
we
are.

Cleaning house, inside and out.
Down there, on the ground, beside the bush
next to the board that separates the concrete
sweep it vigorously, the dirt resists cleaning.

Some vestiges, some memories,
identities.

Places i have been, the man i thought i was
When i look more closely, it's dirty, it's musty,
it needs to be swept clean.
Not that it is bad, not that it is good,
it just needs
cleaning.

Success for me presently is cleaning my house consistently and thoroughly.
I suppose that's not very exciting.
Across the world in India the Oneness Temple is opening.
Oprah is on TV with Echart Tolle.
Songs are being sung, painting painted, skyscrapers are built.
And i'm just cleaning.

Both inside and outside, cleaning starts with seeing the dirt.

Living in the concepts of what i want the world to be,
what i wish it was,
and how it has not allowed me the "success" for which i have yearned.
The world does not follow my script, and hence i am unsuccessful.

Cleaning house inside is seeing the concepts that color my perceptions,
and letting them dissolve in a solution of love* and Presence.

Cleaning house outside is seeing the condition of my house,
and the condition of my friendships,
and the condition of my working life
and recommitting to being clear and present.

I'm walking through the cobwebs of the internal dialogue, explaining, yakking about this and that,
"making sense of it all"
and just doing the work that needs to be done, with less reference
to the non stop chatter of my mind

Seen in this way, my mind is both pitiful
and funny!

And matters less and less every day.
Clear mind, clean house,
nothing to do, nothing to say, not waiting or expecting anything

open, ready,
like a tiger ready to pounce
a tulip enjoying the spring breeze.

So, what is success?
Is there a universal concept that has meaning?
Or is it entirely a personal matter?
My success, different from your success.

Following the trend of new age network marketing new thought
the secret is that we think our world into existence
buddha said the same two thousand years ago

and certainly it is true...

but why do i think what i think?
What is in me that sabotages "success"?
Do i know what success means?
And do i know who wants success?


Is success getting what i want?
Wasn't Hitler successful?


Is success being self actualized, manifesting my True Self
and not being identified with the ego and it's identities?

Is success knowing love, being loved, and being loving?

Is success my daughter, intelligent, clear and compassionate,
finding her way in the jungle of modern mental madness
and being happy?

Is success being happy?

Is success accepting what is as it is, and not wishing for change?

Is success changing things so that the world more accurately reflects
my mental image of what it "should" be?

What is success?

And why do i care?

Is it in the future?
Or can i be completely succesful right now?

What is success?

Until i have learned to bring the greatness out of myself, how can i truly bring greatness out in others?  So one way is to strive for greatness in my own life. To never settle for being in my own complacent bubble, but to continue to grow and expand. Modeling a way of being...
The other way is to pay attention to others, and listen to them. Each person's path is so unique, there must be a unique way to encourage others to their greatness. For one, it may be a hug, and encouraging words. For another, or at another time, a slap on the hands, and strong words might be the right remedy. The right action shows up when i am in the flow of the Way.

(my note: I wrote this for my friends in the local oneness group)

So much is happening in the world, and so much is happening in my own heart and my own life.
What i want to share with you is my musing on success, and peace.

Success: What is success for you personally, and how would success show up worldwide?
What would success look like in the oneness movement?

We usually have a picture of success. In the political arena, it might be that our party wins the election.
I'm thinking that a President who honored people, plants, animals, and the whole planet: that would be a success.
Personally, I would have a deep, intimate partner in my life. And a successful music career.
The oneness movement would be sweeping all around the world, and people would be receiving the blessing
and having big parties of groovy loving energy.

I know that it is popular in the New Age to take these kind of dreams and make them into affirmations.
But affirming something that exists in some other time and place, can be a sure route to suffering.
The divine grace that has brought the Oneness Blessing into my life, has made no promises as to what my life
will look like, and no promises about whether i will achieve "my success". When i was in India, I asked Amma for a successful music career,
and she tapped me on the head, and said, "It is done!" But she didn't say what that success will look like...

Who knows what will happen tomorrow?

Despite the seeming imperfections of my life, Grace has descended into this very moment, into this
slightly dysfunctional, living, breathing, mistake making human being.

Tying our happiness up to the Dream Making Machine, tying it up to whether or not we are successful,
it will drag us up and down. Today it is sunny and warm and calm, but tomorrow the winds may blow dust all over town.
Maybe my allergies will kick in, and my daughter will be grumpy.

Grace is alive in all of that, too...

It is not to say i don't want to be open for change, or have goals and projects. That is human, we have work to do,
and sometimes we have real fun...But don't wait for oneness, don't wait to be successful, don't wait for enlightenment,
or the New Age house on the hill. It may never come, and if we die tomorrow, would you want to say,

it was all a big mistake, i never got what i wanted!

Grace descends into everything right now, just as it is.

Peace is calling our name,
for we all come from nothing, and are returning to nothing all the time.
Grace, falling like a gentle rain, awakening the peace that is already in our hearts.
It was never anywhere else.